Revisiting The Spiritual Journey 2025 Year of Exposure Day 2: We must become nothing.

”For thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: “In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.” But you would not, And you said, “No, for we will flee on horses”— Therefore you shall flee! And, “We will ride on swift horses”— Therefore those who pursue you shall be swift! One thousand shall flee at the threat of one, At the threat of five you shall flee, Till you are left as a pole on top of a mountain And as a banner on a hill. Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you; And therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; Blessed are all those who wait for Him.“

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭30‬:‭15‬-‭18‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

The spiritual journey I am sharing with you began with a sudden onset of severe illness. Almost without warning I felt as though my actual life force was leaving my body.

Yes, this spiritual journey began with this sudden onset on January 16, 2024. On January 17 I passed out from a full standing position, falling between my bathtub and toilet, onto the tile floor between two porcelain fixtures. Of course, I was sore from the episode; but I knew it could have brought, and was meant to bring, my demise. Yes, I should’ve died that day, at that moment; and if I have ever known anything, I know that to be the truth.

Later on in that day, I spoke to my husband telling him that I now knew what being nothing felt like. Indeed, I felt a sudden awareness of being absolutely nothing. Now, if you’ve never been there, it’s hard to explain. In fact, it would’ve been difficult for me to understand before this.

You see, I’ve had good days and bad days, just like any other human being. I’ve even had some very close calls with death; but this experience was different. It somehow had gone beyond an acute physical onslaught to a spiritual place of reckoning.

At this point in the journey, the only thing I could see and know was that I was nothing; and for the first time when facing some form of adversity, I could not see beyond this moment of total vacuousness. Praise God, all that would change; but not yet, not nearly yet.

During my trying to explain to my husband (he was also ill, but not to the supernatural depth I was experiencing) what was going on with me, I said that I felt I had been whittled down to nothing but a meaningless pole, standing on a hill, standing alone.

Our opening scripture is what I was referencing. In this instance, the Lord had allowed His people to be taken down to nothingness because of their unwillingness to follow after Him.

Before I go on with that, you may be wondering if my experience was triggered by willful disobedience. I can tell you unequivocally that the answer to that is no. For me, this process was being used by Satan to sift me and leave me vulnerable to a knockout punch. But God was using it to do what He speaks in verse 18 of our opening scripture. He brought me to nothingness so that He could be gracious, and have mercy on me, ultimately leading me to the point of denouncement of that which I was not aware was still somehow residing in my spirit.

Now, make no mistake, I understand that many people will take offense at me saying that the Lord was using this intense moment to bring about something good in my life. I will not argue with the naysayers. You see, I’ve been on the journey, and I know what I know.

The fact is, until we become nothing, until we become aware of the point the apostle Paul was making in Romans 7, and are totally dependent, totally trusting in our Lord, we will fall short of what He has for us. And—living in these last days before the coming of Jesus Christ—we may well be taken out by deception while trusting in that which is nothing.

”For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find.“

‭‭Romans‬ ‭7‬:‭18‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

This same Paul had wrestled with some area of torment. He asked the Lord to take it away. But the Lord wanted him to learn complete dependence on the Spirit, the power, of God.

“If I wanted to boast, I would be no fool in doing so, because I would be telling the truth. But I won’t do it, because I don’t want anyone to give me credit beyond what they can see in my life or hear in my message, even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭6‬-‭10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

As long as Paul thought that his power was coming from his own ability, he could not be fully used by the Lord, Who must be in complete control in order to fully manifest His glory through us.

Next time we will talk further about becoming nothing. For me, it was the first step in this spiritual journey; and it was setting me up for a great victory. But there was much more yet for me to learn. And, it wouldn’t be easy . . .

Peace to you.

Jesus is coming! Get ready for Him!