Day 2 of False Choices: You must choose between telling the truth or being loving.

“Then Jesus began to tell them that the Son of Man must suffer many terrible things and be rejected by the elders, the leading priests, and the teachers of religious law. He would be killed, but three days later he would rise from the dead. As he talked about this openly with his disciples, Peter took him aside and began to reprimand him for saying such things. Jesus turned around and looked at his disciples, then reprimanded Peter. “Get away from me, Satan!” he said. “You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s.””

‭‭Mark‬ ‭8‬:‭31‬-‭33‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Most parents know that there is often an inner conflict between wanting to be liked by your child or doing what you know is best for them. But, when put in concrete words like that, you would immediately say that the welfare of the child should always take priority over the need to be liked or to seem loving.

Many of us know the pain of having to expose our child to something they don’t understand, something they find painful or scary, but is for their good. It’s gut-wrenching to have your child look at you, begging you, whether verbally or with their eyes, to deliver them from this bad situation. Whether it’s restraining them to receive some very needed medication/procedure, or popping a little hand reaching for something hot, you take no pleasure in being the “bad” guy. But, the truth is, a loving parent will do what is best for the child whether the child understands it or not.

There has been a trend in modern churches to orient themselves toward a more “positive” gospel by only speaking what is seen as being “encouraging.” The pastor might as well be swishing pom-poms around while chanting some meaningless cheerleading mantra. Now, I know that sounded harsh; and in my heart I really don’t look at the pastors doing that with distain. I don’t know what the Lord has called them to do. But, I do know what we are ALL called to do.

The false choice we consider today is the choice between speaking the truth or being loving (along with loving, we also think in terms of being seen as encouraging, being liked, or being popular). The fact is, there is no such choice presented in the word of God.

An often used scripture having both the concept of speaking the truth, as well as being loving, is where we are told to speak the truth in love. Unfortunately, the emphasis of this verse is usually placed on the “in love” part without consideration of the “speaking the truth” part.

Let’s examine this verse within its context:

“Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4‬:‭14‬-‭15‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The context of the aforementioned “speaking the truth” is in terms of the instruction to give people sound doctrine to keep them from falling prey to heresies or even their own self-deception. The emphasis is on “speaking the truth” BECAUSE we love.

A little later on in the passage we see a good summation of the intended meaning:

“So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4‬:‭25‬ ‭NLT‬‬

We—as the body of Christ—together must work for the corporate good. Part of working for each other’s good, as well as the good of the whole body, is to make sure that sound doctrine: the truth about what the Lord wants, is demonstrated in the way we live and heard in the words we speak.

Now certainly, if we see ourselves (as one individual described himself to us) as a “holy broom” looking for occasion to correct anybody and everybody, we certainly are not going to be well-received. Nor should we be. That attitude is one of personal agenda rather than out of the motive of love.

The 26th President of the United States, Theodore Roosevelt, offered this poignant reminder:

“No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Now, I will prepare you, you must understand that even with the most godly, pure, and loving intentions, the truth is sometimes seen as “Bible thumping” or being judgmental. But, our part is to make sure our motive is one of love and to ask the Holy Spirit to give us wisdom as to what to say and how to say it, while He prepares the heart of the one who will hear it.

In our opening scripture we see Jesus harshly rebuking Peter. Jesus has just shared the fact that He will have to suffer and die. Peter rebukes Him, not realizing that what he is saying goes against the will of God. Jesus correctly identifies the source of this kind of thinking as being Satan. He then explains to Peter that he’s thinking like men think, rather than like God thinks. Now, anyone who has experienced the saving grace of our Lord, and the great gift of salvation received through His sacrifice, would never accuse Him of being unloving. And, with that, you will also find that He always speaks the truth, even when the hearer receives it as being hurtful.

So, make sure that your motive is to fulfill the will of God in telling the truth about sound doctrine. Then, speak the truth as the Lord gives you the opportunity, leaving how people respond, to the Lord. Remember, there is no choice to be made between being loving or telling the truth; the truth is, telling the truth, is the most loving thing you can do.

Today we lay to rest the false choice between telling the truth and being loving.

#10daysoffalsechoices